In one of my articles, Filipina Beauty, I had
mentioned that Freddie Aguilar and I are friends. Maybe because both of us are
singer/songwriters; we both play acoustic guitar; we intensely love our
country; and both of us belong to the stage and the night.
We used to be struggling poor boy musicians in Olongapo City, which was by then is the music capital of the Philippines. But, after more or less than a year of being together, we went to our separate ways. The word Aguilar means eagle; and as an eagle, he spreads his wings and soared to the sky while I stayed on the ground and watched him fly. His air flight was so domineering that he shattered the air space with the thundering power of his voice. His melodies and lyrics echoed in the lips of his people. We are both songwriters, and some people thought that I also had written some great songs. However, I am not as good or lucky as he is; and I am not destined to be in the sky. The verse from the song “Cool Change” by Little River Band speaks for me “I was born in the sign of water, and it’s there where I do my best”.
I am
happy for my friend’s destiny,
As I am
happy for what I am.
I always dreamed of having a big
brother. Maybe the reason why, “Kaka” (meaning big brother, as what most of his
closest friends call Freddie Aguilar) I felt that I had found one. With him, I
feel safe and protected; I do not have to think much of those little things and
worries. He has a strong personality. He knows what he
wants; and most of the time, he is in control even with his emotion and anger.
I always enjoyed being with him, watching his “show” in and out the stage,
being in the background, even being his shadow.
During the early stage of our friendship, I knew that some of my friends ridiculed my assumption of a low profile status when I am with him. But it did not bother me, for it is a small price to pay for the joy of having a brother and a friend. I felt sad when he became so popular, because I thought that I had lost him to intoxicating fame that could change anyone. But I was wrong, for when we see each other, I saw and I felt how happy he was to see me. Moreover, even in the following years (more or less, we only see each other maybe twice or thrice a year) that “warmth” was always there in every meeting; and there was not a time that I was treated like I am not welcome, in his home and in his life.
Fame,
although undeniably to some extent changed him. I
can tell that it could not change his essence; particularly, it could not
change his friendship. Certainly, in him, I found a brother; and for that alone, I
am grateful.
Freddie Aguilar practically got
nothing from our friendship. When I am with him, all I do is eat his food,
drink his wine, waste his time, and take some of his money. (very minimal amount, and of course, with his
permission) Basically in a way, taking advantage of his friendship. Sometimes I
even have the nerve to out from nowhere ask him a very personal question that
can cause a man with weak heart to have a nervous breakdown. At times, I
criticize his compositions, calling it unnecessary and irrelevant. I engaged
him in a heated debate; or call him crazy in front of his friends. He even
allowed me to open up my heart and mind during our debate. Even though, I am a
very passionate debater, very personal, and can be a nasty nutshell when it
comes to depending my belief. However, after our brain skirmish, nothing
changed in our friendship.
I remember during the early stage of our friendship (too early on, just on our second meeting and I could not understand him at that time) he told me that I am his real friend because to some extent I let him mistreat me. I was too young by then to understand him and the real meaning of friendship; but maybe this is his way of paying back, by letting me to some extent abuse him.
Having a popular friend and being
an unknown incognito is like living and traveling back and forth in two
different worlds. With him, I was able to have an access to the lifestyle and
minds of the rich and famous while I actually reside and jam with the rhythm of
the poor and sing the melody of the commons. It is like going to a show and be
a part of both the audience and the performers. This complex status permits me
to see some of life’s hidden realities, and it helps me make major decisions to
choose which path to take. It didn't make me richer or famous, but it does make
me a better person. Like I always said, “Everything has a reason” and it is not
an accident that I have a popular friend and brother like Freddie Aguilar.
Providence has always been kind to me; He knows my heart’s desire, and what is
best for me. I am a simple man, and I never remember myself dreaming for fame
and money. When I was young, when I do not know what I want in life, I was
somehow blessed to realize that life is so precious. And over endeavoring to
achieve temporary and superficial things is a waste of time.
I am weird and indifferent.
Like the American Singer songwriter, Waylon Jennings, I am a cowboy who'd rather give songs than diamonds and gold”. Materially,
songs are less important; but it last longer. It is even longer than life; and for me, there is more in life than money, fame, or songs.
Being close with a musical icon,
I saw the life of a man behind the stage, before and after the show and applause.
I realized what it takes to maintain one's popularity. I have no illusion of
what it is to be famous; because I saw and I in a way experienced it when I am
with him. Freddie would at times sit and spend ample time with me when I visit
him. Our long conversation and his abundant sharing of his experiences and
interactions with other well-known personalities gave me first
hand information about the other side of life that I can only
see on screen. Weird and indifferent as I am, for me, it was more than enough.
And I thank God that I do not have to live with it. For the reason that it's
not for me, and it's not what I really want.
